Living in this world isn’t always all Hollywood glamour and glitz. Sometimes …no most often, life isn’t anything like the glamour and glitz you see in Hollywood or even read in books. As a little girl in fact, even though my childhood was relatively uneventful compared to yours (I’m sure), my childhood did have it’s struggles. I was raised in by two very loving Christian parents who attempted to shield me from the evils of the world while attempting to teach me how to be light in this pained world. Trouble was, I didn’t understand the pain others had and I didn’t understand that those who weren’t Christians wouldn’t understand me. So, when the kids teased me for how I dressed (modestly) or how my hair was (permed) or how I did my makeup (oddly) or how I walked (slightly toed in) or well, you get the picture…it literally felt like EVERYTHING I did was subpar. Unless I spoke to the teachers. The teachers often told me how special I was, how smart I was and how much I had to offer the world. This was complicated even more when the only feellow student who had been nice to me in my class was killed when a hole he dug collapsed on him.
It was then that I found that if I ignored the kids and focused on what I needed to do in school, I could function..no..actually excel…Except this made some of the other children jealous or spiteful or…well..whatever it was. They chose to single me out. Even to the point of dealing with a kid who decided it would be fun to terrorize me. Terrorize me she did. To make matters worse, I found a place that was new and offered me something to focus on besides school…I found band. As you might imagine, this was not a popular move. All of this was before I even hit middle school..
You remember middle school? Well, my middle school was located at a high school. So, as a 7th grader, I shared the campus with 9th – 12th graders. The middle school band was small but the high school band was smaller. So, the band teacher combined them into one to create a marching band.I had some fun in those days even though I didn’t fit anywhere other than band though I loved my studies and I loved my teachers.
Yes, throughout those days, i had friends but those friends came and went as I tried to find my way. Some I thought would be friends for life, others took me off my path for a time. I would occasionally wake up and find my way again. I struggled with all the things you struggled with all the things you normally struggle with as a teenager. Self acceptance, peer acceptance, my studies, the desire to have fun, the desire to be loved and even the need for a savior. Oh don’t get me wrong, I was saved but I questioned it regularly. It was then that I started getting sick. I missed a lot of school and went to a lot of doctors. They eventually decided I needed surgery. It was my junior year and my focus on school was distracted. I didn’t want to go. I had no desire to go back, to give it my all. I was tired and saw no fruits from my labors. high school seemed stupid to me.
It was then that I was accepted into the local community college in a dual credit program. I even got engaged. I though that was it – I had found love, I had found a desire to please a man. One would think this was it…my path had been set. Engaged to be married, high school behind me and college ahead of me.
The saying now is why buy the cow when the millk is free. hmmm Yes. I suppose that is the truth. As I look back, I can see that this was the most likely reason why I wasn’t destined to marry this fellow….though the fact that he did not like any of my friends, that he was much older than me, that I was naieve, young and immature had a lot to do with it. I allowed myself to give away that which should ahve been more precious to me than the apparent love of a boy. I thought the ring on my finger gave me all I needed. That it meant success and an answer to my dreams. In truth, it was just the beginning of a life that would be full of heart break and hope, ups and downs, losses and triumphs, joys and saddness. Is it over yet? Not even close. Have I gotten where I’m meant to be? No. I continue to strive for more.
You should too. Why? you ask. Well..
I tell you all of this not to scare you or depress you but to encourage you. Encourage you to do more than accept status quo. To encourage you to life a full life. To encourage you that you have what it takes to be more than you are today. To embrace your potential, your belief and your calling and do more.
Why? Why would you do that? Because you were made for more. You don’t exist here on earth to be born, learn, fall in love and have kids which you will raise and then watch them have grandkids. While all of that is great, you were born for more. You were born for greatness….excellence…no even to save lives through your excellence.
Oh I hear your questions. I hear your How’s, your Why’s, your What’s. I had them too. But the answer, you see, is to just DO. Do what you know you must. Do more than what you are doing now. Yes, you heard me get up and do.
So what is it you are going to do this week? If not, what is stopping you? How can I help you get to where you CAN do it?